The Consequence of Action
by Fluff.and.Rainbows
Summary: Lavi, the Bookman Junior, is a liar. He knows this, and he hates it. He's flawed. -A series of Lavi-centric one-shots, with some Laven. Third: "Oh." Allen and Lavi manage to steal away a moment in the library.-
1. Sure

**Warning.** Mild violence towards children _by_ children, hinted foul language, and uh. That's it?

**You know, I don't think I'd want to own D. Gray-man, actually. I'd probably ruin it. I can't draw anyway. Thank God **_**I don't own it.**_

:D

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I had met Allen Walker once or twice before the Black Order, but those couple of time had been enough. Thankfully, Bookman had no idea. He had been somewhere else at the time. After a lot of needling, begging, and a hell of a lot of hard work I had finally managed to convince him to let me see the traveling circus there in Paris, before we went on to Germany for the riots. There, I saw a clown and his little boy.

There, I met Allen before he was an Exorcist, before he was the Destroyer of Time. I just met _Allen._

The circus hadn't been all that great to tell you the truth, and Bookman had wanted nothing to do with it. I was there by myself. There were the tight rope walkers, acrobats, a snake woman, a strong man, a lion tamer, a handful of clowns, and some other animals. At the time, I had liked the lions the best. My persona then had been a small boy named Leo. He liked adventure, often made up wild stories, and called people by nicknames instead of birth names. His name meant lion. His taste had influenced mine. Now, though I do remember the clowns being over the top in a sad sort of way, I now think of them as my favorite. I don't even like clowns. I just liked _them._

After the show, I had gone to find Bookman. Before I could leave the grounds, though, I bumped into a brunette boy with his hair in a ponytail. He wore mittens despite the humidity and heat, and long sleeves. He was smaller than me, but I know now that he had been younger than me, so that makes sense. Leo, being an obnoxious sort of boy, hadn't wanted to apologize. He had yelled at the brunette kid. The brunette kid had yelled back, but in a lot more colorful language. It's almost ironic, now that I look back on it. Allen never cusses these days.

The brunette kid had stomped off in a huff, over to one of the clowns still in costume. I realized then that the boy had had paint smudged on his face, blue and red. He and the clown were too far away for me to hear what they were saying, but the boy was loud, angry. I heard him shout, "Mana!"

Mana Walker. It didn't mean anything to me at the time.

I went into town in search of Bookman. He hadn't told me where to find him. I was expected to just know. I wasn't really looking too hard, though, as this was my first time in Paris. I liked it, even if the people were dirty and the streets smelled. The circus, as lame as it had been, had warmed Leo's little heart. It had warmed _mine._ The happiness it had given me made Paris look better. That didn't last long, though. A couple of street kids shattered my rose colored glasses.

I saw the brunette kid again, looking a bit worse for wear and without the clown named Mana. It had been a little over an hour, and I knew Bookman would be pissed, but I really didn't care. I still had a lot to learn then. When I saw the kid, he was running. The paint on his face was gone, replaced with a shining bruise under one eye and blood, dirt dusted over his clothes. A few street kids were chasing after him. They were older than the both of us. The kid ran straight into me when he tried to take a turn too fast. We toppled over, and the other street kids made a domino effect. We all ended up on the floor in a pile. Something sharp had cut my cheek, and I was starting to get annoyed. The brunette kid managed to wiggle out and tried to keep running, but he only made it two steps. He winced and held his ankle. The fall had twisted it.

The other kids climbed off of each other as I stood up, a scowl on my face. Bookman was going to _pissed_. The kids advanced on the brunette, and I chose them as a method of venting my anger out. That was one thing Bookman had taught me, to always vent. He had said, of course, not to harm others while I did, but I just didn't care. They had ruined my happy high. I hadn't felt like that since I had seen a village in India burn down. _I_ was pissed. The biggest kid picked the brunette up by his collar and shook him, a skinny kid coming up next to him to shout in his face.

"Where'd you hide it, freak-a-zoid! Tell me where you hid our money!"

The brunette scowled and spat in his face. I could have laughed if I wasn't so annoyed. The skinny kid made a shriek of disgust and punched him. Another kid, maybe around the brunette's age, got out a knife, I think. It could have been a piece of glass, but I knew it was sharp, and that wasn't good. I tackled him down, and whatever it was went sailing down the street. The other kids turned to see us, and I had a knife of my own out. Bookman had me keeping all sorts of things in my sleeves. Now I realized why, though, admittedly, it wasn't the right reason. I thought I knew.

Anyway, the big kid dropped the brunette, who let out a grunt of pain. Probably twisted something else. They advanced on me then, but self-defense had been the first thing Bookman made sure I knew. I kicked the big guy's feet out from under him. He fell on the skinny kid, and everything went downhill for them from there. I only cut one kid, on the cheek. He barely bleed at all, but the coward went running. Everyone else followed after.

The brunette kid was gone. I was almost disappointed.

We stayed in Paris for another two days. The circus had been canceled, too. Everyone was rained in. Flood warnings went out. Bookman couldn't have been any angrier, at me or the weather, I wasn't sure. Probably me. He didn't show it, of course, but I had traveled with him long enough to know his moods. I made sure I wasn't anywhere near him those two days. Despite the flood warnings, I took an umbrella and went out.

I saw the brunette kid again. He was in a different manner of dress. Still those stupid mittens, but he had a checkered yellow sweater on. His hair was down. It made him look younger. His face was still bruised, but it was fading a little. The blood was gone, and I couldn't see a wound. Must not have been his. That made me smile. He was with a tall man in a top hat and coat, with sharp eyes, though the hat shadowed his face for the most part. They were in a restaurant, two of the four people there. The other two were probably employees. No one else was out, thanks to the rain. It made me wonder why they were there. My stomach growled, and I decided I'd stop by.

The kid recognized me and scowled. The tall man followed his gaze and laughed. "This the boy that helped you, Allen?"

Allen, he flushed pink and ducked his head. I was close enough by then to hear him mutter, "Maybe..."

"You should thank him." He lifted his head, still with a scowl, and growled out a thank you, if you could call it that. I can hardly imagine him doing that now. The tall man shook his head. "That's not a real thank you, Allen. Go on."

He muttered something I couldn't catch over the rain and hopped down from his seat. Kid really was a shorty. He had to tilt his head up to look me in the eye, but he did. A dull brown color, those eyes, but they had a light in them. I admired that. There was an awkward pause before he ducked his head again, to hide the flush over his cheeks that had returned. "Thanks..." He was standing funny, putting all of his weight on one leg. I had been wrong, he only twisted the one ankle. He was trying not to show that it hurt. I admired that, too.

I grinned. "No problem." I decided not to tell him I hadn't mean to help him out. I wasn't supposed to, anyway. I had just wanted to vent.

The tall man smiled, but his eyes were still sharp. I didn't know whether to trust him or not. "Will you join us, uh...?"

"Leo. Junior."

He smiled again. "Alright, Leo Jr. Join us? My name is Mana, my son is Allen. Sorry for any trouble he caused you."

Allen snapped his head up to glare at his father, cheeks puffed out. "Mana!"

I really laughed. I was happy again. I didn't know why, but I didn't care. I hadn't been caring about a lot of things then.

"Sure."

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**Author's Notes.**

Ha, I got the idea for this based off of a picture of tiny Lavi with tiny Allen. Lavi was happy, but Allen so totally wasn't, he looked annoyed. I thought it was cute, then remembered that Mana was a traveling clown. Who else traveled? The Bookmen! Whoo. Also, I had "Flawed Design" by Stabilo on repeat. It's a total Lavi song. It gave me some more ideas. This is going to be a Lavi-centric series, with some Laven flavoring poured in.

The sentences are meant to be short, choppy, since it's a memory. True, Lavi does have a photographic memory, but this is something he isn't meant to know. It's an attachment, something Bookman wouldn't approve of. He'd probably treasure that memory more because of it, but I think he'd try to hide it, even from himself. Who knows what Bookman would be able to find out? Besides, he was "Leo" at the time.

I'm making excuses. Shut up.

I should probably either, a) be doing my English essay on the fucking Count of Monte Cristo. I hate that book. I hate Alexandre Dumas. Fuck. Also, I'm sick. Ew. I don't feel like it. I also have an essay on both Night and Oedipus the King to do, too. I hate Oedipus, the guy. He's a douche. Night's okay.

Or, b) I could be typing up the next chapter of Look. But, I kind of don't want to. I've almost lost that story. Huh. Oh, well. Whatever.

Also, I've decided that I dislike Lucky. More than Yullen. S'why I don't read it. I only like Tyki with Allen, 'cause that makes a bit more sense to me. I only like Lucky if it's after Road, like, mind fucked him. 'Cause, then, he's Deke. And he's an asshole. Just like Tyki. Whoo.

God, I'm hungry. Ugh. But, you know how, when you're sick, nothing seems good? Yeah. Damn.

I have a couple of other ideas tucked away, too, all Laven or Lavi centered. Or with Link. I like Link. He's badass. There needs to be a Link/Allen week, dude. Really. Every other pair has one. Or, does it already? I'unno. Someone check for me, haha. But, my world history teacher actually helped with one idea, isn't that funny? He used to teach earth science, and I had him last year, so he and I are tight. He has no grammar skills, though, poor guy. Anyway, he teaches history based on the idea that it shouldn't be all facts, but have points of view involved. Opinions. Because, without the thoughts and feelings behind the actions, how could there have ever been the action in the first place? Totally made me go, "OH, DUDE, THANKS. TOTALLY USING THAT." He looked at me funny. I giggled for the rest of the hour. I blame the low blood sugar. ...That, and his face is kind of funny. Voice of a God, though, hot damn.

Carry on. Ugh. I need to throw up. I'm sure you needed to know that.

(I need to make my Author's notes shorter, shit.)


	2. Wasn't Worth It

**Warning. **Homosexual relationships, one-sided love, angst, and, fuck, me cursing. I don't know. My head hurts. I shouldn't even be awake. Fuck.

**What doesn't Fluffy own? Come on. Guess.

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**

I had never expected this, really. I don't think anyone really had, not even them. _Especially _not them. I had considered him refusing me as a possible out come, but not because he was already with someone. He didn't even look like he believed what he was saying. Somehow, that made it hurt worse. He could be giving me up for someone he doesn't even want, and he might not even know it. How messed up is that?

He doesn't know how long I agonized over whether or not I should tell him. Bookmen aren't supposed to have hearts, you know, we're not supposed to make attachments. We need to be as unbiased as possible in order to record history in a neutral light. The things I had been taught just about my whole life tore me up inside while I battled over whether or not I should just confess to him. In the end, I did. I told him I was in love with him.

He looked at me like I had cornered him, like I was torturing him. On purpose. He looked half-confused, half-pained. It broke that heart I'm not supposed to have. "I'm...sorry, Lavi, but...I'm already with someone?" He had even ended it like a question. I managed to keep a straight face for the most part. I smiled and told him it was okay, I just wanted him to be happy. He left. I ended up needing to go to the infirmary, for punching the wall until my hand nearly broke.

I just about begged Komui for a mission, and he finally gave me a solo one. Without Bookman, even. I kind of owe him for that now, but...I mainly vented the whole trip. Thankfully, I didn't have a Finder, since it was just an Akuma clean sweep mission. I was able to vent out all of my anger onto those stupid machines, but my mind kept straying back to Allen. He practically lived for those foul things. Wanted to save them. That spurred me on to find new and more creative ways to destroy them. I had to go back to the matron once I returned to Headquarters. I had gone more than just a little over board.

Allen and Yuu had come to visit me, Allen seemingly dragging Yuu with him. He had fussed over me, and I had to hold myself back from begging him to just leave. He was just making things worse, emotionally. I was breaking on the inside, and I didn't want him to see. He'd just feel guilty. Heart breaker or no, I couldn't stand to see him upset. Finally, Yuu managed to convince the kid to leave. He stopped in the doorway after Allen left and looked at me over his shoulder.

"He told me," he said, "that you're in love with him. Watch yourself, stupid rabbit."

He left before he could see my eye widen. Things clicked then, who Allen was with. At first, my suspicions went to Lenalee, but Komui didn't seem to be acting any differently. A total gentlemen or not, Komui would hit the roof if _anyone_ started dating his sister. That crossed her out. I skipped right over Kanda, since I thought they hated each other. Next came the boys in the science department. First came Johnny, but he said no. Then Reever, who also denied it. I went through my mental list of Finders, but couldn't think of anyone. Then, the other Exorcists. Not Noise. Not Krory. Not Miranda.

But Kanda.

Allen was dating Kanda.

When the matron came back, she pretended not to see me crying.

She let me out early, since my injuries weren't all that serious. She did order me to stay off of missions for awhile, though, and just do book work. So, I did. Bookman, too, pretended not to notice how upset I probably seemed. I know he did it to remind me how I had messed up, and I'm almost grateful for him. Sympathy would've just made it worse, honestly. He left after while, telling me to copy some texts, and that I better have them done by the time he got back. I said I would. As soon as he left, I let my head hit the table and just sat there.

I was miserable. I know I said I just wanted Allen to be happy, but I had no idea it would hurt _me_ so much. He had showed me so much, how to feel, how to save, how to truly be happy. Then, he ruined it. All of it. He didn't even do it on purpose.

I pillowed my head on my crossed arms on the table, tucking my face into one elbow to block out the dim light of the library. I knew I was smudging ink on my arms, but I didn't care. Bookman could yell at me if he wanted to. I had been vaguely aware that I was crying, but I couldn't feel it. _Lavi _was hiding, and he left me cold. I cursed myself for getting so involved.

It just wasn't worth it.

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**Author's Notes.**

lolol, it was "Breakeven" by the Script this time. I know it's meant to be sad, but it's just so _catchy. _It always makes me feel so...chipper. Ha. But, dear _Jesus, _I'm so congested. And my mouse is breaking. And my throat's sore. And have I mentioned I hate sneezing? 'Cause I do. It's nasty. Fuuu--

Yeah. The image of sad!Lavi sitting with his head on a desk in the library, for some reason, really worked for me. Then it built around, why the fuck is he sitting like that? Huh. Then I turned on "Breakeven," and everything went from there. Yay.

I need pain reliever. Ow.

Also, I fucking hate Yullen. Okay, that's a lie, I kind of like it. I even kind of like Kanda. ...Well, no, that's a lie, too. I just fucking _dislike_ Kanda. Jerk. So, putting Allen with Kanda, even if it's only a mentioning of it, made me go, "_Fuuuuck. _I hate my life." Then I laughed 'cause, no matter what, when someone says, "I hate my life," it makes me giggle. That's so mean of me. A friend of mine says it all the time, and I always end up laughing at her. She normally hits me for it, though, so. Karma.

Oh, but I got an idea for my own one-shot/drabble week. I call it the "Fandom Bicycle Week," from my main fandoms. _Harry Potter_ (haha, I put Pooter the first time. Christ), _D. Gray-man, Fullmetal Alchemist, Katekyo Hitman Reborn!, _and_ Kingdom Hearts. _Of course, that means Harry himself, Allen, Ed, Tsuna, and Sora. They get paired with _everyone_, and they even have some similar characters. There's the bastard, the fun guy, the guy who you just _have_ to pity, a creeper, etc. Whoo. Gonna do that soon. Wish me luck, yeah?

Carry on, and feel free to play along for the Fandom Bicycle thing. I wonder, is there anything like that already going on? If so, sign me up, man.


	3. Oh

**Warning. **Established homosexual relationship, implied naughtiness, etc. I don't know.

**Fluffy's tired of saying that she doesn't own D. Gray-man, yet deems it necessary. Sigh.

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**

It was rare that they ever got a moment to themselves, but they tried to make the most of them. Those few moments were normally spent in the library while Bookman was off doing something else, or in one of their rooms. In this particular case, they were in the library, sitting together in one of the over-sized chairs. Allen was in Lavi's lap, comfortable as could be, his head resting on the redhead's shoulder, Lavi's arm around his waist while the other hand held a book. He was reading aloud, murmuring the words softly. The soft tone was almost putting Allen to sleep.

"Yo, Moyashi, you still awake? Don't fall asleep on me, darlin'."

Allen merely grunted uncharacteristically and let his eyes close. "M'names All'n..." he slurred. He must've been tired.

Lavi chuckled softly and snapped the book shut. Placing the book on the end table, he put his now free hand on Allen's thigh, rubbing small circles into his skin through the fabric of his pants. Allen sighed gently and shifted, curling himself in closer to his lover's chest. Lavi brought his other hand up to run through the boy's hair, and he chuckled softly again at how Allen buried his face into the crook of the redhead's neck, letting his breath ghost over his skin in another sigh. The unexpected difference in temperature made him shiver, and Lavi was almost ashamed at how turned on those simple actions were making him, especially since Allen seemed to be so tired.

_Seemed_.

Before Lavi could blink, he was being straddled by his young lover, a seductive smirk on his beautiful face. The redhead's breath hitched and caught in his throat at the look in the other boy's eyes, shining and colored a molten silver. He almost didn't notice the hand gently rubbing random shapes into the now exposed skin of his hip. Lavi's shirt hem was lightly clasped between Allen's teeth, a now more teasing look in his eyes.

"Allen...?" Lavi breathed.

"Hmm?"

"I thought you were tired."

"Kind of hard to sleep when your, ah, _excitement_ is digging into my thigh, love."

"...Oh."

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**Author's Notes.**

WHOO, FEEL BETTER ALREADY. Go figure.

I keep having some song on repeat whenever I do these things. It was "We Might As Well Be Strangers" by Keane. This drabble/one-shot/thing doesn't even have anything to do with that. What. Oh, well, I kind of like this one. It was originally supposed to be for my Fandom Bicycle Week, but it didn't turn out how I wanted it to, so I went, "Well, shit. What can I use it for? OH, GOT IT." And, here we are. Huzzah.

Not that any of you care, but drama club is such a hassle. I tore apart my bookshelves, which look _so ugly now_, trying to find stuff to sell at out rummage sale. They better be pleased, I got them two baskets and two trash bags full of stuff to sell. My poor shelves! They look so..._sad. _Ah, man. Also, lab reports suck. Lots. And my biology teacher is pretty much going senile. It's crazy. She can't remember the things she said merely a minute before. She's kinda going deaf, too, but she claims to have excellent hearing. _Lies._ Hmph.

And, come on, guys! None of the people on my watch list are very busy. It's almost sad, and I'm wondering what's going on. Problems, not interested, what? I'm concerned. Kinda. Well. You get the picture.

Not that any of you care, again, but! I let a friend of mine borrow my _Fullmetal Alchemist_ game. And then he moved. But! Now he goes to my high school, so I got it back. But he scratched it, though it still works. I still hit him for it, of course, but at least I can play it. I sucked at that game when I was younger, but I'm better now. I'm stuck at this one part, though, with a huge ass chimera bird, demon thing shooting balls of fire at me. Wtf, I died twice already. Shit. Stupid bird thing.

Carry on, guys. OTL


End file.
